Mysterious Remains Identified as Susan Fong

North Elevator

Months ago, Engineering student Susan Fong found the aged and dessicated remains of a human in the clothes of a modern day student. During the investigation Pinebox PD discovered that the clothing and backpack found with the body belonged to a student named Sean O’Malley. After a subsequent incident, O’Malley dropped out of school and became the night clerk at Speedy Pete’s Discount Gas and Convenience Store. Two nights ago, O’Malley contacted me via the Raven’s Report website saying that he had discovered something that either Pinebox PD had overlooked, or purposefully concealed regarding Fong’s disappearance.

I met O’Malley behind Speedy Pete’s last night to discuss what he believed he had uncovered. The student who I had often seen on campus appeared to have aged significantly. He had sores on his forearms where he’d scratched at invisible fleas until he bled. His cheeks were sunken and he’d lost a fair amount of his hair. He met my eyes, but didn’t hold them for long. O’Malley told me the following as he worked his way through six of seven cigarettes.

“Back in March when campus police took me into custody for running out of the Applied Sciences building naked, everyone figured it was just some prank. The only thing on my mind was getting the hell out of that elevator. It’s something different; Susie was the first to realize that something wasn’t right but she didn’t tell anyone.

“Listen, do you know anything about entanglement?” Sean took a quarter out of his pocket and flashed both sides of it to me then continued, “This quarter’s a solitary object, but let’s say I cut it in half along the circumference so that I have two half coins: one with the heads side, one with the tails. Now, no matter how far apart the two halves are, one will always be heads, and the other will always be tails. The interesting thing, according to entanglement, is that if somehow I can flip this tails side to a heads, it’s other half will instantaneously flip to the opposite side regardless of the distance between them.

“The hypothesis is, because the change is instantaneous you can transmit binary data over any distance without using an electromagnetic wave to carry the information. Imagine then that instead of the coin you used something more like a six-sided die. If you look straight onto the corner of the die, you’ll see three of the six faces, and be able to deduce the remaining sides as well as their position. Essentially, you’re sending more information with the die than you would with the coin. Now imagine larger matrices of data being sent instantaneously from one point to another. That’s exactly what you have in the North elevator chamber in the ETU Applied Sciences building. Below the elevator shaft is one half of an object, and resting on top of the elevator car is the second half.

“The power outage was the initial kick to break the object into two separate entangled pieces. After that the elevator handled varying the distance between the two. What the guys running the show didn’t get was what would happen in between the two entangled objects. The space between them lost integrity; time between them lost integrity. In the beginning all anyone noticed were their watches going screwy, but then Susie found that body…” Sean lit another cigarette and smoked through half of it before continuing. “A few weeks later, I stepped into the North elevator at about 7:30 in the morning. In the afternoon of that day I exited the South elevator ass naked, but honestly I don’t remember anything between when I ran out and when I woke up in a hospital bed surrounded by cops and my parents. Something happened…something in between.

“I do a lot to try and forget, but here’s what I can’t get rid of: a few seconds after the elevator doors closed the lights went out, the sound went out, the whole damn world went out. There was nothing but nothing, until somehow I sensed that there was somehow something even less substantial than the void around me. I don’t know what it was, I just felt a consciousness looking through me. Then it started doing something with my mind, like it was taking my memories and thoughts and sorting them. Then it started to put images of Susie in my head, intermingling her thoughts with mine. It didn’t stop with thoughts though, my bones snapped and healed as I lived through accidents Susie had endured. I heard her screaming as she went through my past pains. It forced us to experience everything the other had ever known. Whatever that thing was, it was separating our beings into components and shuffling them together like a metaphysical deck of cards; it was entangling us.”

He smashed out the rest of his final cigarette on the brick wall he was leaning against. “It brought us together, and then tore us apart. Each of us taking half of our existence with us, but knowing full well what pieces were missing and residing in the other half. The less-than-void ejected me from the South elevator, and kept Susie’s body in the North one, moving it months back in time and depositing her where her past self would discover it.”

“I know how this sounds: meth addict dropout must have finally lost his mind, made up some crazy story to excuse what he’s become. Let me tell you something else. I’ve tried to kill myself four times since I got out of that elevator, but I can’t die because Susie’s already dead. I can’t sleep, because she’s already sleeping. I can’t eat because…she’s the one who’s hungry. If you don’t believe me, go check out what’s on top of that elevator car. And if you want to stop this from happening again, you’ll destroy it.” O’Malley then got into his car and drove off.

Earlier this morning I went to the Applied Sciences building and found my way into the North elevator’s shaft via safety access panel. The car had been recalled to the basement level and was still out of service. I couldn’t find anything unusual on top of the car.

After leaving the building I made a phone call to Pinebox PD asking to speak with the medical examiner who performed the autopsy on the the body found by Susan Fong. When asked about the body, the ME said that the investigation was still ongoing and that he couldn’t answer my questions. The chair of the Applied Sciences department could not be reached for comment.

Annual Easter Egg Hunt Cancelled

Photo by: Thomas Alvarez

ETU’s annual Easter egg hunt run by Delta Chi Rho was canceled this when the body of the previous year’s winner, Maria Esperando, was found dead on the Athletic Complex’ west field.

Esperando had been reported missing two weeks prior to the event by her housemate Charlene Deveaux. “Maria just didn’t come home from the library that night. ‘It was a nice night,’ she’d said. Didn’t even take her car; just walked onto campus,” said Charlene when I spoke with her earlier this morning.

When asked if Maria had exhibited any odd behavior in the days leading up to her disappearance Charlene brought me to Maria’s bedroom where Maria had scratched the image of a black egg surrounded by the number 13 in black and red ink. “She’d been saying she’d been having trouble sleeping for the last few nights. After she didn’t come home I came into her room to look for her mom’s phone number and saw this. I called the police.”

Pinebox authorities are currently investigating Maria’s death and have yet to determine its cause. If anyone has any information regarding Maria Esperando’s death, please contact campus PD or the Pinebox police department as soon as possible.

Identity Theft Ring Broken

Campus police announced the successful arrest of five individuals involved in a sophisticated identity theft ring at ETU. Jerome Johnson, a Computer Science grad student working in cryptography, has been named as the ringleader.

According to campus investigators, Johnson recruited student workers in the Registrar’s office to look up student records and copy personal information. Johnson then used this information, such as hometown and birth date, to guess the passwords of e-mail and social media accounts. Once in control of a student’s internet presence, he or an accomplice would claim an emergency and ask the student’s friends to wire or paypal money.

Investigators claim that Johnson’s ring scammed more than $50,000 in three months.

Time Capsule Practical Joke

photo by: Jake Miller

photo by: Jake Miller

Students gathered together this morning to take part in burying a time capsule so that future Ravens would be able to see what current Ravens make use of in their daily lives. Amongst the collected items were popular paperbacks, an iPod Nano, an aerial photograph of Pinebox and ETU, an unopened bag of M&Ms and a copy of the morning’s The Raven’s Report.

Jake Miller, Report photographer and participant in the event noted, “We also wrote letters talking about our lives, and asking questions to whomever opened the capsule. Those were added in just before the capsule was sealed up.”

Once sealed, the students dug a hole on the edge of Mather’s field, but were surprised to find an object buried there. When pulled up and opened, the object contained exact replicas of the items that were about to be buried, but they had aged significantly.

“It didn’t make any sense,” Miller noted. “I even checked the note I wrote, and it was in my hand writing. Everything was…older.” The recovered capsule is being evaluated by the campus engineering department; its contents are currently being investigated.

Greek Talent Show Applications Climbing

ETU’s annual sorority and fraternity talent show continues to receive a record-breaking number of applications for the fourth year in a row. The application deadline to participate in next month’s show was last Friday, and the Campus Life office reports 74 entries in this year’s competition. This is up from 65 entries last year.

“I’ve always known that we have an extrememly bright, gifted group of students here at ETU. I’m pleased that so many are demonstrating those talents this year,” said Campus Life Director Carol Keller.

The talent show has been gaining in popularity as the shadow of tragedy from fades from the student body’s collective memory. Today’s seniors were only freshmen when seven students died unexpectedly during the show. Since then, the show’s organizers have worked tirelessly at recovering from the subsequent plumment in participation by implementing strict new rules to insure safety.

Those rules include:

  • No outside food or drink.
  • No performance enhancing drugs
  • No pyrotechnics.
  • No unapproved electronic devices

Dr. Keller adds, “Remember, this is a talent show, not a science fair. Let’s have fun showing off our natural talents and leave your academic achievements in the labratory.”

Memorial Disrupted

A prankster disrupted Wednesday’s candle-light vigil for Roy Stillwater, the ETU sophomore who died a year ago after re-entering a burning apartment to rescue a roommate overcome by smoke. Last night’s memorial drew a crowd of more than 50 students outside the Student Union, and Stillwater’s parents were on hand to help light the candles of those in attendance.

The moment of silence and respect was broken when Stillwater’s former girlfriend noticed the prankster. Someone who bore a slight resemblance to Stillwater crashed the memorial dressed in singed clothes and with soot on his face.

“It was terrible. I can’t believe someone would show such bad taste,” said Kerry Wiley, who dated Stillwater. “I had my eyes closed and I was thinking about Roy when I felt a hand on my shoulder. I thought it was my friend Ramona, but when I turned my head and saw him I just freaked out. It looked so much like him.”

Wiley’s scream broke the silence and immediately drew the crowd’s attention. Stillwater’s parents also spotted the imposter, but the prankster somehow managed to slip away in the darkness and chaos before he could be apprehended.

“What a sick thing to do,” said Maria Alverez, Biology freshman. “I mean, it’s bad enough that someone would crash a memorial like that. But it was dark and all we had were those candles. It was almost as bad as shouting “fire” in a crowded theater. When I heard that scream the first thing that came to mind was ’The Needler got someone!’ I doubt I’ll come to another one of these.”

Campus police were on site for the memorial and say that no student was in danger at any time. Students are encouraged to take advantage of the ETU Angels Service club, which offers escorts on campus after dark.