Buried Tales of Pinebox, Texas: An Editorial/Book Review

I recently attended a Gaming Convention with my son, when I was surprised to see a Horror Anthology placed in our hometown of Pinebox.  Of course I puchased it immediately, went to the hotel room and started reading.

I am shocked at how these writers have depicted our little town.  You would think every weird, bizarre, paranormal, dark magic, and xenocreatures can be found here.  They even included good Sheriff Butch Anderson, which I think must violate his rights in some way.  The first story is simply a copy of the old Jennifer Ridge Transcripts.  This story has been embellished the past few years, and there was no real investigation about what really happened, nor did they ask any of our government folks, police department, or Sheriff’s department for comments.  If they had then I could at least appreciate the book, but I don’t like such one-sided fluff that truly impunes our towns good nature.

Here is an anthology that was written by folks in New York, Ireland, Yankees, and Left-Coasters.  Some are Role-Playing game designers and writers, not exactly an investigative team.  The first story by Filamena Young is titled  The Hanging Tree.  She continues the falsehoods about our city government and people.  We are proud to have Louis Rainer as our local Defense Attorney, and Judge Howard Lindsey is one of the sweetest, fairest men to ever hold a judicial seat.  She takes these good men and adds pure fiction about some demonic tree and impunes our town’s honor in how we deal with crime.  Ms. Young, please check out our local crime rates, which are very low compared to other cities our size.

The next story was titled The One That Got Away by Preston P. Dubois of a rinky dink independent horror outfit known as 12 to Midnight.  He’s even a native Texan, though from central Texas, and he has the audacity to write about our East Texas Town.  At least the main characters in his story are fictional and the unbelievable tale of some ancient evil in Lake Greystone is absolutely absurd.  Of course he is a Freemason, so he’s not one of us.

Then came the sickest of the anthology, innocently entitled Pie.  It is set in Mom’s Diner, one of the nicest restaurants in our town.  The writer, Monica Valentinelli, places a Skinwalker in the diner, and manages to win the disgusting award for the book, which is high praise, I suppose.  Yes, we do have a Skinwalker legend, but come on folks, it is no different than the legend of Bigfoot, and sightings of UFOs.  These things happen all over the nation, not just in East Texas or in Pinebox.

Then there is The Evil Within by Derek Gunn.  Perhaps one of the best written of the stories, this one impunes our own Dr. Louise Frazier of the Biology Department of East Texas University.  Honestly, Dr. Frazier and Sheriff Anderson should seek legal representation and sue the 12 to Midnight outfit for libel.  If the stories were not so absolutely unbelieveable they would probably have a better case.  However the people over at 12 to Midnight offer no apologies and certainly no one asked anyone in our town permission to be used in this book.

Stigmatized Property by Jess Hartley takes a sad true story about Mr. and Mrs. Whitcomb and their untimely deaths and turns it into some abhorrant ghost story. She even characterizes our own Mr. Strega as some sort of psychic.  I attempted to contact Mr. Strega, but he said he had “no comment.”  Perhaps he doesn’t understand how he was presented in this story.

Then there is the biggest hack writer of all, Ed Wetterman, and his story The Witch of Linda Lane.  I did some investigating Mr. Wetterman, and your Mother in Law lived on Linda Lane in Stafford, Texas.  Did you mean anything by this?  Mr. Wetterman, there are no such things as Witches, and if you are going to write this drivel please place it in some other town.  I recommend a fictional setting, and your characters should not resemble real people.

Blood Born was an interesting read by Charles Rice.  However, Mr. Rice, there are no such things as Werewolves, nor is there any Sweet Heart program.  I think maybe you are a little too into your games.  Fantasy and reality really don’t mix.

Then there is Guitar Zero by Shane Hensley.  At least his is based on a small truth.  Yes, we have a Guitar Hero tournament, just like everywhere else in the country.    Calvin Griffis is a fantastic, smart individual who made it big and yes, he enjoys these types of games.  You make it sound as if he risked his soul.  That is simply ridiculous.  Mr. Hensley is a famous game designer responsible for such things as Deadlands, Savage Worlds, and many others.  Stick to writing games and stories Mr. Hensley.  An investigative reporter you are not!

Just when I thought it couldn’t get any worse, there is the story entitled Mother, by Trey Gorden.  He is an East Texas boy, his father is Mayor of a local town, and he is currently enrolled at a local college.  How could he add to this insult?  Mr. Gorden, you should be ashamed of your treatment of our fair city.  Sheriff Anderson told me if he ever catches you here, you better not speed, and you better act right.

Then there is the horror fantasy of Jason  L. Blair known as Lovable Creatures.  It’s a great story, but it is not real.  Remember my advice about fantasy and reality?  Mr. Blair is a fantastic writer, but this story simply is not a true vision of our little town.

The next one really hurts.  David Wellington is one of the best writers in the business.  His story, Off Radio,  is also based on a local legend, and a terrible event in our recent history.  I will still read his novels, as he is one of the best, but I may never forgive him for reopening wounds that haven’t yet had time to heal.

The last tale of the anthology is also by one of the greatest game designers in modern times, J.D. Wiker.  His tale is entitled Last Exit to Pinebox and he also took a local urban legend and made a tale about it.  Good story, but what do these kinds of stories about our town of Pinebox do for our reputation?  We are a small town, full of good people, trying to make our way in the world like everyone else.

Finally, the folks at 12 to Midnight also included real newspaper articles in the back of the book, as if to give credence to their claims of horror here.  If they were really that interested in the truth, they would come here and check us out for themselves.

So, if you are interested, you can find this book, Buried Tales of Pinebox, Texas on Amazon, on Kindle, and other online stores, but remember these folks have attacked our honor, our lives, and made our community look as if we are overrun with the paranormal, and horrorific creatures of the night.  Please, this is fiction, not reality!

I think the folks at 12 to Midnight owe the entire town of Pinebox an apology.  How about it?

This is Steve May, and that’s the way I read it.

No “Crop Circle” on ETU Football Field

The ETU Athletic Department took the unusual step Monday of issuing a statement to rebut a recent widespread rumor. The rumor, which has spread across campus via Twitter and cell phones, purports that a large symbol similar to those in crop circles was seen growing in the grass of the ETU football stadium. Assistant Dean Andy Roach released the statement without a press conference and stated that the reason for the unusual action was to stop tresspassing by curious students.

“It has been rumored that a symbol can be seen growing in the grass of the ETU football field. This is not true. Any photos claiming to show an image are fakes. The field has been freshly mowed and no symbol, sign, or other image can be seen from overhead.”

Although the source of the rumor has not been identified, several ETU students have claimed to have seen the “crop circle.” One, who asked that his identity be withheld, claimed that the symbol was circular, with small circles set within a larger one.

Pizza Barn Sponsors Eating Contest

photo by: The Pizza Barn

photo by: The Pizza Barn

Gurgitators from all over Texas will be gathering together 11:00 am  Tuesday June 9th to take part in a pizza eating contest sponsored by The Pizza Barn. An entrance fee of $15 pays for all of the pizza you can shovel into your mouth. Prizes for the top three eaters include vintage Pizza Barn t-shirts and clothing, gift certificates to various Pinebox businesses and a grand prize of a trip for two to New York City for a chance to compete at the International Pizza Eating Contest held annually in Times Square.

Proceeds from the contest will be donated to the city of Ninevah to help with the city’s rebuilding efforts after it’s recent streak of fires. All interested parties should contact The Pizza Barn at 936-555-9273 to register or simply show up an hour before the event. The Pizza Barn has also provided an online form that can be filled out on their website.

Sweat Lodge Slated for August

President Nelson is excited about the new crop of Freshmen coming to ETU’s annual Sweat Lodge Orientation.  “We have the largest class of freshmen ever enrolled this year, and I’m sure they will all add to the Raven’s history with pride and honor.”

This year’s Sweat Lodge is the third weekend of August to coincide with dorm check in.    There are three sessions on Thursday, Friday, and Saturday evening, in which the new class receive an personal introduction to the campus, our traditions, and expectations.

“It is important that all incoming freshmen attend Sweat Lodge.  They learn about the importance of campus safety, traditions, the Raven’s Honor Code, and fight songs.  They also get teamed into pods to help them make friends and it is also a fun evening of dancing, live music, and free food.”  President Nelson stated that several bands have agreed to play for the event, including local favorite A Jury of Robots.  Students will also meet with Senior Ravens to get their perspective on life on campus and advice on how to be successful in their college careers.

The final events of the evening will take place in the Roost and the party will continue in a lock-in fashion till the following morning, though the rules state that if a student leave the event, they are not allowed reentrance.  President Nelson explained that this is an effort to keep alcohol out of the arena.  “I’m looking forward to a fantastic night of good , clean Raven’s style fun.”

Computer Game Causing Student Problems

If you haven’t heard of Infection, you probably haven’t been paying too much attention. The game designed by ETU seniors Dave McColluch and Dana Curtis solves the perennial game designer’s problem of “Easy to Learn, Difficult to Master” and has been downloaded and spread throughout the campus. Simultaneously releasing as a Flash based game played in web browsers, downloadable through such social gaming networks as XBOX-Live and also available for play on iPhones and T-Mobile’s G1 Infection has been downloaded nearly 45,000 times and is entirely ubiquitous amongst campus residents.

“We never thought it would catch on like it has, it’s really been quite amazing.” noted McColluch. “Within just two weeks of release, Dana and I have both sealed our senior project and nearly paid for for the last two years of tuition.”

Not everyone is so pleased with the game’s success though. Students currently dealing with the stress of finals have had to contend with dividing their time appropriately between play and study. Professors are concerned that the temptation of Infection might affect students an a very immediate and negative fashion. “For what it is, the game is an addiction. There’s the immediate reward of peer recognition by announcing high score achievements across all networked players, constant requirement to attribute more and more time to the game and significant feelings of withdrawal when unable to play. Students are awarded for getting their friends to join with in game bonuses furthering the game’s ability to steal away precious time that should instead be spent studying.” stated Jonah Amberwood from ETU’s department of student affairs.

Most others who have played the game are unconcerned, but with finals soon over the impact Infection has had on the student population will be clear.

Texas Heat Takes its Toll

Temperatures reached 100 degrees in Pinebox this past weekend, driving students in search of water recreation. ETU students were in two separate water accidents.

The first occurred at Lake Greystone. Junior Accounting major Tiffany Taylor was water-skiing when a ski hit one of the numerous tree stumps lurking just under the water, leftover from when the natural lake was dammed and expanded. Taylor is listed in guarded condition at the Golan County hospital.

The second accident occurred at the Gateway Apartments swimming pool when a party turned too rowdy. Several witnesses reported that senior Forestry major Hector Martinez claimed that he could breath under water. Martinez is on the ETU swim team and recently placed second in a competition with other Texas universities. Martinez dove under water and reportedly swam laps around the pool for several minutes before eventually coming to a stop. No life guard was on duty, and at first the other partiers did not realize something was wrong.

Martinez was resuscitated on scene and refused further medical treatment. He and several other students were cited with tickets related to under age drinking.