ETU Professor Charged With Assault, Destruction of Property

An ETU professor angry about a mistake on his paycheck attacked several people at ETU’s payroll office on Monday afternoon. Campus police responded to a 911 call from and found Dr. Timothy Dolby in the process of destroying the office. He refused to comply with officer’s instructions and police used use force to subdue him, including several uses of a police taser and pepper spray.

Gladys Rimley was working in the office when Dolby arrived. “He was extremely agitated about what he thought was a mistake of a penny on his paycheck. When I showed him that it wasn’t an error, just a matter of rounding up in his favor, he went berserk. He screamed, used the most vile profanity, and started throwing things and jumping on the desks. I’ve never seen anyone behave like that. It was terrifying.”

Dolby is a professor of biology at ETU and has a reputation for being well-liked by students and faculty. However, in recent days, associates and staff noted that his behavior had become increasingly bizarre. He canceled office visits with students and failed to show up to teach classes. Long-time friend and colleague Grant Slade reports that he tried to talk to him on Friday but Dolby verbally attacked him.

“When I sought him out to see if I could help, he accused me of trying to steal his research about a recently discovered flower that he was researching. It was an insane paranoid ramble about how everyone wanted to take his work and destroy him.”

Dolby has been charged with assault and destruction of property and is being held in the Golon County Hospital, pending examination.

Natives Speak Out

photo by: Jake Miller

photo by: Jake Miller

The Caddoan Hainais were driven out of Golan County by the Texas Rangers in the early 1840s, and eventually were forced onto reservations in Oklahoma. Now, some are coming home again.

Chief Lyle Redman stated, “This is still our land. Dale Island is our land, and we want it given to us, so we can worship at the home of our ancestors. It is our First Amendment right, and we have hired lawyers to look into this matter.”

Dale Island is a small piece of land out in the old part of Lake Greystone, and its history is closely tied to Golan County. It is currently privately owned and the owners were not available for comment.

“I understand their pain,” Mayor Flowers responded to Chief Redman’s words. “I even agree that they should be given a place for them, but we can’t just go take private property and give it to others. That would be socialism. We don’t do that here. I hope we can work together to come to an equitable agreement.”

Over twenty Hainais have come to Golan County and are currently camping on the shores of Lake Greystone, and have been protesting everyday the past week, carrying signs and speaking to anyone who will listen.

Local Mart Johnson, a fisherman who lives in the Blackburn Community stated that, “They are scaring the fish. That all happened a long time ago. They need to move on.”

“It’s not about moving on, but recognizing the way the Nation of Texas treated our ancestors, and getting back the smallest portion that we are due,” stated Gregory Linden, a Hainais representative. “We are here to stay, until we get some sense of recognition by the Governor and the people of Texas.”

Hawk-Mobile Closed By Health Department

“The Hawk-Mobile” has become a campus fixture, but last Friday the owner of everyone’s favorite little beverage cart was told he could no longer operate on campus–or anywhere. According to Health Department officials, Talbot Hawkins has been selling his frozen fruit juice concoctions on campus for nearly a decade without a license. “Hawk’s” cart could often be found in the busy Quad area between classes, and there was almost always a line for his cool drinks. Hawk gave his drinks wacky names like “Soul Juice”, “Mind Jolt”, and “Dinosaur Extract”, to name just a few. Nobody knows what makes Hawk’s drinks so delicious, which is eventually what led to his current problems.

Biochemistry grad student Jason Mayor started analyzing the ingredients of Hawk’s drinks so that he could make them for himself at home. However, many of the drinks have ingredients he or his professors were unable to identify. “I got concerned. I mean, I love those drinks as much as anybody, but just what are they made of? We never see Hawk make them. He just pulls them out of his little freezer pre-made.”

Mayor says he debated whether to bring the matter to the city Health Department, but in the end decided to err on the side of caution. That’s when Hawk’s real trouble began. The Health Department discovered that they had no permit on file for Hawkins’ beverage cart. Friday afternoon Pinebox and ETU campus police served notice that the Hawk Mobile must remain closed until the proper permits are filed.

Hawkins was unavailable for comment before the filing of this story.

Aircraft Wreckage Identified

A spokesman for the US Air Force has identified wreckage discovered over the weekend as belonging to the space shuttle Columbia.

ETU sophomores Kyle Morgan and DeQuina Johnson caused a small flurry of excitement over the weekend when they discovered large sections of wreckage while hiking in the Big Thicket. Although the students originally reported that the wreckage was still smoking when they discovered it, authorities later attributed the mistake to the excitement of their find.

“We’re very grateful Kyle and Dequina for reporting their discovery, and I can see how their imaginations might have gotten carried away. When the Columbia exploded over East Texas in 2003, it left debris scattered over hundreds of miles. Every piece could be an important clue,” said Air Force Spokesman Thomas Grey.

Morgan and Johnson remain steadfast in their claim that the wreckage was recent, and Morgan claims that one of the pieces had strange writing on it. Minutes after Pinebox Sheriff’s Deputies returned with the students, the Air Force arrived on the scene by helicopter. The military quickly cordoned off the debris area to turn away souvenir hunters and prevent bystanders from accidentally tampering with forensic evidence.

Juniors to Teach Middle School

photo by: Jake Miller

photo by: Jake Miller

East Texas University is beginning a new Teaching program in conjunction with Pinebox Middle School.  “This is a great pilot program that enables our teaching majors to get classroom experience and log hours for their graduation requirements, and assists our local school district that is consistently short of qualified substitute teachers,” said Associate Dean Linda  Taylor of the ETU Education department.

“I think its a great opportunity for us,” said Sophomore education major, Lita Davis.  “I love the idea of molding young minds and helping them to realize what is truly important in life.”

Pinebox Middle School suffered greatly earlier this year when three students and a teacher went missing following an afternoon tutorial session.  None of which have since been found and the investigation is still ongoing.  Since then, the school has had a very difficult time finding qualified substitutes willing to work in the district.

“The truth is, people are scared.  But , honestly, we have beefed up security, added cameras, and we believe we have a safe, educational environment here in Pinebox,”  said Superintendent of Schools, Mat Lowery.

The new program is ready to be implemented in August of 2009 and involves student educators co-teaching with experienced teachers for a month, then becoming long-term substitutes for the remainder of the school year.  The students are paid as substitutes and receive four hours of course work for their efforts.

Student Injured in Fire at Halloway Hall

A Sophomore student was severely burned by a fire in her dorm room at ETU’s HallowayHall early Sunday morning. Campus police received a 911 call from a neighboring student who lived across the hall and who reported smoke coming from the room. On arrival, police and fire crew saw flames in the window of the room and broke down the door. They found one wall engulfed in flames and the sophomore unconscious on the floor. Halloway Hall was evacuated and the fire was extinguished by fire officials. No other injuries were reported.

The student, whose name has been withheld pending notification of her parents, suffered burns and smoke inhalation and is being treated at the Golan County Hospital. An investigation into the cause of fire is under way, but it is not believed to be a result of arson. A fire official, speaking under condition of anonymity, stated that it was likely a result of an electrical failure and that the student had multiple lights plugged into every available outlet. Other students in Stanbury Hall stated that the injured sophomore had difficulty sleeping and had a reputation for being afraid of the dark.