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Night Lights Discovered to Be Geese

Several observant citizens of Golon County witnessed a strange V-shaped formation of blinking lights in the sky last night and reported it to the County Sheriff’s office. However, on investigation, it was determined that the lights were actually the lights of Pinebox reflecting off the underside of flying geese. The “flying saucers” were later found […]

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Gambling Ring Busted in Trailer House

The Golan County Sheriff’s department raided a trailer in the Blackburn community yesterday.  The county confiscated over 15 two-dollar gambling machines, and over $15,000. “Apparently, this operation had been going on for some time.  They had regular games of Texas Hold ‘Em and some were pretty high stakes,” reported Sheriff Butch Anderson. Five people have […]

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Professor Adds New Dimension to Night Sky

While most people are content to enjoy the four dimensions we all enjoy, people like Dr. Nancy Mortvedt want more. Dr. Mortvedt is a visiting professor from the University of Vienna and is currently teaching upper-level classes in the ETU Physics Department. Students may not know her, but most have seen part of her latest […]

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Crime on the Rise

This past week have seen an unusual spike in the theft and burglary crime rate throughout Golan County.  Mayor Flowers explained, “There have been over fifty cases of theft, burglary, or attempted crimes in the past nine or so days.  This is highly unusual and our police department and sheriff’s department are  putting in extra […]

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Renowned Artist to Show Works at ETU

The  Martha Patterson Annex will host a showing of the work of Ethan Schrader from July 6th through the 10th in the Keppler Memorial Gallery. Schrader is one of ETU’s most famous alumni, graduating with an MFA in 1979. His conceptual art has appeared in galleries around the world, including the New York Museum of […]

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ETU Professor Charged With Assault, Destruction of Property

An ETU professor angry about a mistake on his paycheck attacked several people at ETU’s payroll office on Monday afternoon. Campus police responded to a 911 call from and found Dr. Timothy Dolby in the process of destroying the office. He refused to comply with officer’s instructions and police used use force to subdue him, […]

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