Spring Semester
By: Steve May
An old house exploded last Tuesday night. The home, which had been abandoned for several years, was completely destroyed by the blast, the cause of which is unknown.
“The gas lines have been turn3ed off for years so unless some strange mistake was made, we have no idea what caused the explosion,” said Sheriff Butch Anderson at the scene.
“There was a two-tone brown, 1983 Buick Regal with expired plates, liscense number U81-OIC, found abandoned nearby on the Pinebox Cutoff Road. We are asking that anyone with information about this explosion or this car contact us at 1-800-55-4357.”
This article refers to a short story by Trey Gorden in the Buried Tales of Pinebox Anthology called Mother. Trey is a native East Texan, who spent his youth tramping around in the Piney Woods pretending to be, depending on his mood, either Legolas or Nyarlathotep. After living among the Misty Mountains and damp cafe’s off the coutnry’s upper left hand orner for several years, he recently returned to East Texas and is now a graduate student in English at Stephen F. Austin State University in Nacogdoches. He has decided that, if he can’t be Legolas or Nyarlathotep, he’ll settle for being a college professor.
Tags: Butch Anderson, explosion, Trey Gorden
Posted in Local News, Sophomore | No Comments »
Spring Semester
By: Roy Ryder
The Raven’s Theater had a standing-room only crowd on Monday afternoon for ETU’s student organization presentation of Dr. Eric Von Brunt of the World UFO Organization (WUFOO). Attendees were treated to a lecture by Dr. Von Brunt, including a video presentation, and a lively question and answer period. While scheduled to last 90 minutes, many students remained seated after three hours had passed.
As director of WUFOO (pronounced woo-foo) for sixteen years, Dr. Von Brunt has extensive experience with so-called unidentified flying objects. WUFOO and other organizations like it have collected thousands of first-hand accounts from all around the world.
“The truth is that there are a lot of people who believe in UFOs,” Dr. Von Brunt said during the introduction of his presentation. “There are also a lot of people who have had witnessed a UFO or had an even closer encounter with one. In fact, Pinebox is considered a UFO hot spot.”
While speaking of Pinebox and ETU, Dr. Von Brunt used the opportunity to announce that WUFOO would hold its next annual conference at ETU in July of 2010. The conference is open to the public and Von Brunt encouraged those students still at ETU to attend.
One of Dr. Von Brunt’s goals is to make the study of UFOs more respectable. “I know how we are perceived. You know, we’re the crazy guys who keep saying there are little green men out there. But the study of UFOs is serious and what people have had done to them by aliens is no joke. There’s nothing funny about anal probes.”
Posted in Campus News, Freshmen, Local News, Weird | No Comments »
Spring Semester
By: Jacob Jollie
photo by: Parker Collins
Recently the world was amazed by reports out of England regarding dogs that glow in the dark. But a report issued by the East Texas University (ETU) Physics Department claims they are less than impressed. Why is this? ETU claims to have dog that can teleport over short distances.
Physics graduate student Parker Collins claims to have witnessed this phenomenon with a golden retriever, named Blinkie. Collins states when Blinkie gets overly stimulated instead of running to an object or person of interest, she simply pops from one place to the other. Mister Collins elaborated that pop is the best turn to describe this, as there is an audible popping noise when Blinkie makes this quick moves.
No one in the ETU Physics Department has been able to determine why Blinkie is able to teleport. No video images of Blinkie popping have been made available either as of this date. When asked to see Blinkie’s papers, these were not available. Parker Collins states that Blinkie wandered onto campus one day. She teleported on that occasion when a student rattled a box of dog biscuits. From that point on the dog became the mascot of the Physics Departments.
Posted in Junior, Weird | No Comments »
Spring Semester
By: Steve May
The Guitar Hero phenomenon continues to grow as tournaments and competitions have taken the nation by storm. The 2nd Annual Guitar Hero Tournament of Ravens is set to begin at 9 a.m. this Saturday at the Ravens Student Center.
The tournament is open to everyone from the age of 12 to 99 and the entry fee is $20. The tournament is double elimination and is a head to head seeded competition and is expected to go late into the night before the Champion Hero is crowned. The winner of the contest will receive a $2000 scholarship and $500 in gaming gift certificates from various stores. The winner will also be sent to Austin next October for the Texas State Championship and receive free transportation, motel room, and $200 spending money.
Second and third place prizes include new guitars, game disks, t-shirts, and gift certificates to local restaurants. Last year’s winner, Calvin Griffis, is expected to make another run for the prize, though it is believed that this year there will be more than 200 contestants, compared to 96 last year.
“This is good, wholesome fun with great music and is a true event. Who knows, maybe som many people will want to play that we’ll have to do it in Raven’s Stadium next year,” said ETU President Nelson. “I invite everyone to come out, bring your family, and have fun.”
This article is taken from a story by Shane Lacy Hensley entitled Guitar Zero in the Buried Tales of Pinebox, Texas Anthology. Shane is a writer, designer, and video game developer in the sunny state of Arizona. He’s best known for creating Deadlands: The Weird West and a host of other game systems and worlds. The powers that be blessed him with a wonderful wife, Michell, and two incredible boys, Caden and Ronan.
Tags: Guitar Zero, Hensley, President Nelson
Posted in Campus News, Freshmen | No Comments »
Spring Semester
By: Colleen Parker
The Pinebox City Jail was evacuated for 30 minutes on Wednesday after a police officer noticed smoke billowing from a jail cell.
Police officers and handcuffed inmates stood on the sidewalk and watched as smoke poured out the front door of the city jail Wednesday morning. Firefighters donned oxygen masks and entered the building to put out the blaze, only to discover that the source was a smoke cannister of the type frequently used by the military. The canister was found in one of jail’s unused cells.
“We are still investigating how that smoke grenade was smuggled in,” said Officer Donner on Wednesday afternoon. “I had no idea that one cannister could produce that much smoke. It’s crazy!”
No inmates escaped during the evacuation. The city jail has four cells, but only three people were being held at the time. The three inmates, none of whom were being held for violent crimes, were led half a block to Dolly’s Donuts and cuffed to one of the outdoor metal patio tables. Meanwhile, city workers used a pair of giant shop fans to clear the building of smoke. By noon, the inmates were returned to their cells.
Tags: jail, Pinebox PD
Posted in Current Events (news), Freshmen, Local News | No Comments »
Spring Semester
By: Steve May
photo by: Wikipedia
Mary Stevens reported that a “large cat, like a lion,” stalked her as she jogged along a trail off Whiskey Creek.
“I was jogging down the trail when I kept hearing something in the bushes just to my right, but hidden in the underbrush. I stopped and waited, then called out, wondering if someone was out there with me. Then I saw it’s green eyes. The head was huge, in fact I think it was a Liger.”
Ligers are a mix of tigers and lions that grow larger than any normal big cat and consumes as much as 500 to 600 pounds of meat a day. However, Ligers are not known in the wild and are only raised by human captors.
“There is no liger in our woods,” stated Sheriff Anderson. “It may have been a cougar, or maybe a black bear. I don’t doubt she saw something, but being alone out there can play with your mind.”
Mary responded that she knows what she saw, and that “there is something big out there. Way big.”
Mary stated she slowly walked away, but the big cat followed her for another half mile, before she made it to a road and car traffic scared the beast away.
When asked what people should do when they spot such an animal, Sheriff Anderson responded, “Be slow. Deliberate. Keep your head about you and walk away. Most animals are more afraid of us, than we are of them.”
Tags: Liger, Sheriff Anderson, Thicket
Posted in Current Events (news), Local News, Sophomore | No Comments »
