Large Cat Stalks Jogger

photo by: Wikipedia

photo by: Wikipedia

Mary Stevens reported that a “large cat, like a lion,” stalked her as she jogged along a trail off Whiskey Creek.

“I was jogging down the trail when I kept hearing something in the bushes just to my right, but hidden in the underbrush. I stopped and waited, then called out, wondering if someone was out there with me. Then I saw it’s green eyes. The head was huge, in fact I think it was a Liger.”

Ligers are a mix of tigers and lions that grow larger than any normal big cat and consumes as much as 500 to 600 pounds of meat a day. However, Ligers are not known in the wild and are only raised by human captors.

“There is no liger in our woods,” stated Sheriff Anderson. “It may have been a cougar, or maybe a black bear. I don’t doubt she saw something, but being alone out there can play with your mind.”

Mary responded that she knows what she saw, and that “there is something big out there. Way big.”

Mary stated she slowly walked away, but the big cat followed her for another half mile, before she made it to a road and car traffic scared the beast away.

When asked what people should do when they spot such an animal, Sheriff Anderson responded, “Be slow. Deliberate. Keep your head about you and walk away. Most animals are more afraid of us, than we are of them.”

ETU Library Amnesty Week Starts Today

This week the Sam Rayburn Library begins an Amnesty Week in the hopes that students will return long forgotten books without fear of heavy late fees. “The fees aren’t nearly as important as getting those books back, which is why we’re waiving all of them this week,” said Library Director Alicia Rhyvies.

The last time the library held an Amnesty Week the turn out was tremendous. It was reported that well over 100 overdue books were returned and re cataloged by the end of the week; one book had gone missing for nearly 85 years! According to Rhyvies, “Some of the books returned weren’t even ours. The ones we received that belonged to the Pinebox public library were returned and they graciously extended amnesty as well. A few of the books weren’t library books at all. Some weren’t written in English, and one wasn’t written in anything anyone could immediately recognize. The guys in the foreign languages department had a blast figuring that one out.”

If you’re currently in possession of a book belonging to the library but are worried about overdue fines, this is a great week to dust it off and bring it right back to the library where other students will be able to use it!

Spring Flu Affects Whitehall

Whitehall Dormitories

Whitehall Dormitories

Pinebox Medical Center has seen a recent influx of students enter their halls for treatment, as a rare strain of flu seems to have infected nearly 30% of students living in the Whitehall Dormitory. Students affected by the flu are reported to be exhibiting symptoms such as nausea, vomiting, fever as high as 103ยบ, moderate to severe back and muscle pain and migraine headaches. In rare cases, students have noted skin and eye discoloration.

Doctors at the Medical Center were unavailable for comment, though hospital officials released a statement yesterday saying that a combination of hydration therapy and diet modification seems to be the most effective. ETU Director of Student Affairs Dr. Steve Anderson released a statement to ETU parents alerting them of the recent epidemic and noting that a complete investigation is currently underway in and around Whitehall to determine the cause of the illness.

Students currently residing in Whitehall are advised to seek medical attention as soon as any symptoms become apparent. Any students whose roommates are currently being treated should report at once to the ETU Department of Student Affairs.