Fall Semester
By: Roy Ryder
The crows of Golan County are happy. More than a dozen local farmers have reported the theft of their scarecrows to the Sheriff’s office. The missing mannequins have been from all across the county, from a corn field in Cavalas to a decorative scarecrow taken from a front yard in the Indian Summer trailer park.
Deputy Henry Putter, the officer assigned to the case, believes that local vandals are responsible. “This kind of thing happens now and then,” Putter said of the thefts. “Some kids think it would be cool to rip off the scarecrows or the chicken statue in front of Texas Fried Chicken or something like that. We’ll probably find them all in somebody’s backyard.” Putter advises local farmers with scarecrows to put them away or chain them to a heavy object until the thefts are resolved.
Not everyone is so sure that youthful vandals are responsible for the thefts. One victim, who wished to remain anonymous, stated that he found no footprints around the missing scarecrow other than those of the shoes worn by the scarecrow itself.
Posted in Current Events (news), Junior, Local News | No Comments »
Fall Semester
By: Thomas Alvarez
photo by: Jake Miller
Students gathered together this morning to take part in burying a time capsule so that future Ravens would be able to see what current Ravens make use of in their daily lives. Amongst the collected items were popular paperbacks, an iPod Nano, an aerial photograph of Pinebox and ETU, an unopened bag of M&Ms and a copy of the morning’s The Raven’s Report.
Jake Miller, Report photographer and participant in the event noted, “We also wrote letters talking about our lives, and asking questions to whomever opened the capsule. Those were added in just before the capsule was sealed up.”
Once sealed, the students dug a hole on the edge of Mather’s field, but were surprised to find an object buried there. When pulled up and opened, the object contained exact replicas of the items that were about to be buried, but they had aged significantly.
“It didn’t make any sense,” Miller noted. “I even checked the note I wrote, and it was in my hand writing. Everything was…older.” The recovered capsule is being evaluated by the campus engineering department; its contents are currently being investigated.
Tags: time capsule
Posted in Campus News, Senior, Weird | No Comments »
Fall Semester
By: Steve May
photo by: Pinebox Voter's Society
Mayor John Flowers has served two years in office, since the untimely death of Red McCombs, and polls indicate he should be reelected by a landslide this Fall.
“I love this town,” he said at Tuesday’s press conference. “Pinebox has been good to me, and I promise that I’ll always be good to it.”
Mayor Flowers’ only challenger is newcomer Bradley Ferrer, who recently took over the Texas State Raven’s Bank and Trust. “I know I’m facing an uphill battle, but this is my home now and I can make it better for everyone,” Ferrer responded to an email question by this reporter. “There are too many unanswered questions in our lives. Does anyone really think a bear killed Mayor McCombs?”
Sheriff Butch Anderson was quick to respond to the criticism of the bear theory, “Ferrer is an outsider and he just don’t understand our lives here. He wants to bring big city politics to our little piece of paradise. We don’t need that. Not in Pinebox.”
Ferrer’s office chose not to reply to Sheriff Anderson’s statement.
Mayor Flowers and Ferrer are in discussion to set up a public debate sometime in September. “I’m looking forward to the challenge,” Mayor Flowers said. “I’m sure the best man will be elected.”
Tags: mayor, Politics
Posted in Politics, Sophomore | No Comments »
Fall Semester
By: Roy Ryder
Several observant citizens of Golon County witnessed a strange V-shaped formation of blinking lights in the sky last night and reported it to the County Sheriff’s office. However, on investigation, it was determined that the lights were actually the lights of Pinebox reflecting off the underside of flying geese. The “flying saucers” were later found to be nesting at Lake Greystone.
This is not the first time a flock of geese has been mistaken for a UFO in Golon County. During the 1950s, and later in the 1970s, flocks of geese created panic among local residents. Many called local AM radio station KSPK with wild tales of alien landings and abductions.
The Sheriff’s office has advised all residents who see more of the Unidentified Flying Objects to pay listen and hear the bird’s honking before calling in any reports.
Tags: UFO Sheriff
Posted in Junior, Local News | No Comments »
Fall Semester
By: Colleen Parker
ETU’s annual sorority and fraternity talent show continues to receive a record-breaking number of applications for the fourth year in a row. The application deadline to participate in next month’s show was last Friday, and the Campus Life office reports 74 entries in this year’s competition. This is up from 65 entries last year.
“I’ve always known that we have an extrememly bright, gifted group of students here at ETU. I’m pleased that so many are demonstrating those talents this year,” said Campus Life Director Carol Keller.
The talent show has been gaining in popularity as the shadow of tragedy from fades from the student body’s collective memory. Today’s seniors were only freshmen when seven students died unexpectedly during the show. Since then, the show’s organizers have worked tirelessly at recovering from the subsequent plumment in participation by implementing strict new rules to insure safety.
Those rules include:
- No outside food or drink.
- No performance enhancing drugs
- No pyrotechnics.
- No unapproved electronic devices
Dr. Keller adds, “Remember, this is a talent show, not a science fair. Let’s have fun showing off our natural talents and leave your academic achievements in the labratory.”
Tags: talent show
Posted in Campus News, Freshmen | No Comments »
Fall Semester
By: Colleen Parker
A prankster disrupted Wednesday’s candle-light vigil for Roy Stillwater, the ETU sophomore who died a year ago after re-entering a burning apartment to rescue a roommate overcome by smoke. Last night’s memorial drew a crowd of more than 50 students outside the Student Union, and Stillwater’s parents were on hand to help light the candles of those in attendance.
The moment of silence and respect was broken when Stillwater’s former girlfriend noticed the prankster. Someone who bore a slight resemblance to Stillwater crashed the memorial dressed in singed clothes and with soot on his face.
“It was terrible. I can’t believe someone would show such bad taste,” said Kerry Wiley, who dated Stillwater. “I had my eyes closed and I was thinking about Roy when I felt a hand on my shoulder. I thought it was my friend Ramona, but when I turned my head and saw him I just freaked out. It looked so much like him.”
Wiley’s scream broke the silence and immediately drew the crowd’s attention. Stillwater’s parents also spotted the imposter, but the prankster somehow managed to slip away in the darkness and chaos before he could be apprehended.
“What a sick thing to do,” said Maria Alverez, Biology freshman. “I mean, it’s bad enough that someone would crash a memorial like that. But it was dark and all we had were those candles. It was almost as bad as shouting “fire” in a crowded theater. When I heard that scream the first thing that came to mind was ’The Needler got someone!’ I doubt I’ll come to another one of these.”
Campus police were on site for the memorial and say that no student was in danger at any time. Students are encouraged to take advantage of the ETU Angels Service club, which offers escorts on campus after dark.
Tags: ETU Angels, Needler, Stillwater
Posted in Campus News, Sophomore | No Comments »
