No “Crop Circle” on ETU Football Field

The ETU Athletic Department took the unusual step Monday of issuing a statement to rebut a recent widespread rumor. The rumor, which has spread across campus via Twitter and cell phones, purports that a large symbol similar to those in crop circles was seen growing in the grass of the ETU football stadium. Assistant Dean Andy Roach released the statement without a press conference and stated that the reason for the unusual action was to stop tresspassing by curious students.

“It has been rumored that a symbol can be seen growing in the grass of the ETU football field. This is not true. Any photos claiming to show an image are fakes. The field has been freshly mowed and no symbol, sign, or other image can be seen from overhead.”

Although the source of the rumor has not been identified, several ETU students have claimed to have seen the “crop circle.” One, who asked that his identity be withheld, claimed that the symbol was circular, with small circles set within a larger one.

Noxious Fumes Ruin Faculty Chili Cook-off

The annual spring faculty chili cook-off was cancelled only minutes after it started when several people fell ill from noxious fumes and had to be hospitalized. The source of the fumes was found to be not from the cook-off but from a broken ventilation duct from the nearby Sorenson Chemistry Building. Six people were admitted to the Golon County Hospital for headache, dizziness, and nausea. All but one has since been released.

The faculty chili cook-off is an ETU annual tradition to mark the end of the school year. This year the event was held on the ETU grounds near the chemistry building. An estimated 250 attended before the event was canceled. While a few people complained of an unpleasant smell prior to the cook-off, no source could be identified. Only after the cook-off began did the odor become overwhelming, forcing faculty members to leave the area and emergency personnel to respond.

Investigation into the source of the fumes revealed a misaligned ventilation duct inside the Sorenson building. The duct has since been repaired and Vernon Richards, president of the College of Chemistry, expressed his regret for the incident.