Jack Bonner, a Pinebox resident, decided to strip free of all his clothes and race into the middle of Main Street in an attempt to throw himself in front of a 2005 Suburban driven by David Grant.

Mr. Grant swerved to miss the naked man and Mr. Bonner was not struck by the Suburban, however he was unable to miss our storefront. At this point, no one had been injured and the damage caused by the now totaled Suburban was structurally insignificant.

Mr. Bonner stated that his actions were not an effort to commit suicide, but rather an attempt to ‘scare’ a possessive entity from within his body. “It worked.” He said, when asked about the success of his plan. “I feel better than I have in months!” I wish we could say the same for Mr. Grants Suburban.

Though we here at Pinebox Paranormal can appreciate Mr. Bonners’ predicament, Mr. Grant was less understanding and left Mr. Bonner with a broken nose and dislocated jaw.

Both men left in the custody of the Pinebox Police Department.